Let’s start by saying nobody is precisely sure, but just like any form of coaching the idea is to help you get better results out of any area of your life.
I’ll tell you what coaching isn’t! Being told you NEED to do this or MUST do that. That’s instruction.
Coaching isn’t about squeezing things into people, it’s more like teasing things out of them they didn’t know were there.
For example, it might be about letting go of things in life that up until now you realise have actually been holding you back. The catchy phrase “Limiting Beliefs” is often used for this. It’s not “woo woo” as we all have them and sometimes beliefs are useful and sometimes not.
Coaching might be about discovering what really excites you, then moving through a plan on how to get there that really works for you to get the results you want.
But is what you want, what you really really want? Or is it something someone else told you should want?
It’s most definitely about having important conversations with someone who thinks about you and your life differently. Conversations with and to someone who really checks out what you say rather than take it at a superficial value.
Why will you benefit from someone looking at things and hearing things differently?
Well, you want things to be different so it’ll need reconsidering differently at some point won’t it? A coach can do that with you metaphorically and literally. If you want things to be different well you gotta do things differently. If you want to do things different then thinking different is needed and before that feeling different too.
It’s likely to involve challenges.
If a coach of any kind doesn’t challenge you then they aren’t stretching you.
Because challenge equals change.
This is important. I want you to know that a coach is not a friend, you need to know they are more than that because when a coach works with you, questions and challenges you, they do so to simply serve you better.
Coaching may involve:
- Asking pertinent questions to clarify and quantify.
- Asking deep questions to check the motivation toward or away.
- Offering different perceptions to get the current one unstuck
- Challenging you and calling you out on things you believe that might not help you.
- Guiding you through experiences that you create for yourself, to find alternative solutions by you, and for you, by you that suit you.
- Coaching may clarify your values and beliefs as that may help you step forward or highlight what holds you back.
- Enhancing your self-perceived capabilities and redirecting them to help get the outcomes you feel right with.
- It’s about working with someone who will respectfully and dutifully help you to be a better you.
- Being told what to do.
- Being directed or reprimanded in any way.
- It isn’t a linear process or formulaic.
- Coaches don’t tell you how and they don’t advise.
- Coaching isn’t counselling
It’s isn’t about tutoring you on a specific technical skill such as “Tell me how to manage my money better”, if you’re sure a technical skill needs acquiring or improving like that then you’d be better hiring an accountant or money expert or expert in such a field.
But coaching might ask “How exactly do you mean better?” or “What needs improving… in the way you handle money?” or “For what purpose do you want to handle your money better?|” in order to help you choose the skill to acquire and then get you to find the specific help you need for that.
Or ”In what way is money management a problem for you now?” or “And when money management isn’t a problem for you, what would you like to have happen?” Because sometimes the result we want can be gained through alternative forms of action.
Coaching isn’t about changing you to be someone else. It’s more about helping you develop the person you are into a better version of you, so you can do more of what you want in your life, your business or even your favourite past time.
Coaching is safe because coaching is confidential.
Only what we feel is relevant may be shared with a third party to benefit all concerned and that’s only with your permission. *(This is more applicable in a business coaching context if your sessions are paid by a third party.)
- I will be truthful and polite to you
- I will be straight when I feel you need it
- I will always act in your very best interests at heart
- I will check in on deeper topics with your permission
- I will question you in ways that others may not have, to help you re-evaluate the situation in ways you may not have even thought of yet.
- I may offer you homework buts it’s not mandatory.
- I may suggest techniques and exercises to help loosen the grip on things that hold you back
- I will be friendly and courteous
- I won’t take any crap 😉